Monday, August 6, 2012

Cheddar Bay Biscuit Madness

You can take the girl out of the suburbs, but you can't take the suburbs out of the girl. I still find myself craving touchstones of my chain restaurant past from time to time... the giant Italian salad from Olive Garden, Cracker Barrel's chicken and dumplings, and this Sunday morning, cheddar bay biscuits from Red Lobster. As I had already planned on cooking brunch at home, I decided to go full throttle and do egg and bacon cheddar bay biscuit sandwiches. Why? Because I'm a monster, that's why.

Top Secret Recipes does the Red Lobster staple justice. Check out the full recipe here. It's shockingly simple and made with mostly ingredients you probably already have in your cabinets. I'm still constantly shocked and surprised at the amount of delicious things you can do with Bisquick pancake mix as your base. Again, people, I can't bake that well. Cut me some slack. 

So you take pancake mix, butter, milk, cheddar cheese and some garlic powder and mix it together to create this chunky, cheesey wonder batter. The recipe says an ungreased baking sheet but screw that guy, he's not cleaning my pans afterwards. I greased it with a bit of olive oil spray to avoid burned, sticky biscuit bottoms. Then you divide the batter into a dozen biscuits using an ice cream scooper and you're ready to bake.


(yes, these are crummy iPhone photos. My nice camera battery died and I was having a lazy Sunday. DEAL WITH IT.)

Now comes the part where I go crazy and make breakfast sandwiches out of these bad boys. Pick your best biscuits in terms of egg and bacon surface area and slice them slowly and carefully through the center. Rewind back to when your biscuits were in the oven. When they've got about 8 minutes left to bake, place a cookie sheet with center cut bacon on it, as many slices as you'd like. Two per sandwich is about right, unless your husband is from Kentucky and then it's closer to four. Have you never cooked bacon in the oven before? It's suuuuper easy, no grease is spitting at your face, and you get a nice even crispness. When they're done (same time as the biscuits if you time it right) place them on a paper towel lined plate and then blot them on top with another paper towel to cut down on the grease because you've got a dress to fit into in two weeks, damnit!

Some bacon porno for ya. 

You then fry an egg, scramble some eggs into patties, whatever you want because this is YOUR lazy Sunday and you do what you want! Add one or seven mimosas on the side if you want to seriously throw down and be cool like me. 

The final product. 

Now I know what you're thinking: "Girl, I've got like ten more biscuits sitting in my kitchen. NOW WHAT DO I DO?" It's cool, dog. You're going to have a full on Red Lobster dinner later. How? You make a super easy shrimp scampi recipe that takes roughly 10 minutes to assemble and cook, throw some store bought popcorn shrimp with cocktail sauce on the side, and steam some broccoli so you can sleep better knowing you at some veggies today. 

Easy Shrimp Scampi For Two
- 1/3 pound of raw shrimp with the peel on (thawed in cold water if frozen)
- 1/3 cup of white wine
- 2 cloves of garlic, minced (get a garlic press, it will change your LIFE)
- 2 tablespoons of butter, diced into small cubes

Heat that oven to 350. Take everything above. Throw it into a 8 x 8 square pan. Bake it for 5 to 7 minutes. Shrimp is really sensitive so keep an eye on it. Take it out as soon as every last shrimp is pink all the way through. If you want more carbs on top of all the biscuits you've had today, pour everything over some pasta and live it up. Grate some parmeson on top if you feel like it. Dried parsley flakes? Why not! Just do you. 

And remember to add that steamed broccoli or a side salad because you ate a lot of butter today, yo.

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